National Adoption Conference from a Birth-Mom's Perspective

First let me say that I am so lucky to be involved in the Adoption community, there are so many wonderful people, and I love to hear about other adoption stories, no matter what side they come from. Although adoption for birthmothers is a completely different experience compared to the experience the adoptive couple has; the amazing thing is: we all come together for the same reason. We all come together because we all want what is best for these beautiful children; we all have a great love for adoption, and the hope, the blessings and the comfort it may bring to each of us. Although I have only met a handful of people through the world of adoption, it is such a loving community that you instantly feel a part of the adoption family.
I was lucky enough to attend the National FSA Conference for the second year in a row. I am truly impressed with the information that was provided and with the increased opportunities for birth-moms. Often in San Diego as a birth-mom, it can feel quite lonely, thinking that I am the only birth-mom around (even though I know that is not true) with that, the most influential part of the conference for me is being able to meet so many other birth-moms, and to have my support system multiply within one weekend. Having that one commonality instantly brought us all together; knowing that we all went through or is currently going through the most trying time in our life, it creates a bond that no one can deny.
There were so many great classes for everyone that may be influenced by adoption: adoptive couples, birth-moms and the new addition this year was birth-grandparents. For me the most memorable class that was offered was geared towards the adoptive couples, it was a panel of adoptees (those who have been adopted themselves). This had such an impact on me because one of the main concerns when placing my baby for adoption was how he would feel about being adopted. It was such a comfort to hear that a majority of those on the panel had confidence in their adoption story, had respect for their birth parents, and for those who had an open adoption, had a healthy relationship with their birth-parents.
In addition to this class another helpful class was for birth-moms and the healing process. The healing process starts from the very beginning of the pregnancy, it is not only after placement. Pregnancy is the preparatory phase for what placement is going to be like, and how to plan on moving forward in life. It has been more than three years since I placed my precious little boy with his family, and I am still healing and growing from my experience.
On top of all of this, my all time favorite part of the conference was being able to present. Another birth-mom (Amanda) and I got to co-present one of the birth-mom classes on “Deciding who and when to tell.” I love any opportunity I have to share my story, especially on this topic of deciding who to tell that I am a birth-mom, and that I place my baby for adoption. Although I am proud of that title, I am hesitant to share my story with everybody because I am very protective of it and hold it so near and dear to my heart. It was comforting to hear that there are many other birth-moms that feel the same way, and that there are so many ways of telling our story, and with moving forward in our lives.
I am so proud to be a birth-mom; it is an honor that I do not take lightly. I consider myself blessed for being able to attend the National Families Supporting Adoption Conference this year, and I look forward to all the experiences, blessings and new friendships that I will gain through adoption.

-Tera Miller, FSA Board Member